Hard Moments

All day Saturday, that night, and into the next day it was rough.  Motherhood is just straight up really hard sometimes.

mother's day with two kids!

Two of my closest friends from college came to visit on Saturday, and Jonah was fussy basically the entire time.  Definitely not putting his best foot forward.  But thankfully, they took it in stride, and we were able to enjoy some Ritas Ice together and take the littles to a local park.  Noelle missed out on naptime since we had visitors, and by late afternoon, she was in meltdown mode.  She only wanted daddy and she wanted things her way. 

Night time didn't get any better- Jonah would fall asleep when I was nursing him, and as soon as I placed him in the bassinet, he would start crying.  I was up with him from 11:30 to almost 1:00 playing that fun game. Soon after he was (finally!) asleep in our bed, Noelle started crying.  I got her from the crib, but there was no way all 4 of us were going to fit in our bed.

I tried to sleep with her in her big girl bed (a twin), but thankfully Luke came in and offered to sleep with her in there. But of course, as soon as I left the room, she started calling for mama.  So after our fun game of musical beds, I ended up with both kids in our bed, and Luke in the twin.

daddy and Noelle on Memorial Day 

As much as I love being a mom, there are many, many times when I want to throw in the towel and hand my kids off to grandma (or anyone!) and just have a break!  A break from the fussing/crying/screaming infant and the whiny, disobedient toddler.  (Confession: when Luke is home, I take really long showers just so I can have a long moment to myself.)

But I love them, and I try to remind myself in these moments that they are each a blessing from the Lord. I get to be their mom.  God has put them in my care for our time on earth.  To love and discipline. To play with and teach.  And to raise up knowing the Lord.

In these hard times, I find myself doing a lot more praying for grace and patience and love.  God certainly knows I need it.  And He is faithful, always reminding me that I need Him.

I just want to remember that motherhood is not all hugs and sunshine.  It's hard.  It's exhausting.  Down the road when my kids are older, I want to remember that so I can encourage other new moms that I know.

And as hard as motherhood is, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Christmas 2013