Luke & Megan: Senior Year

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3

The initial weeks back at school were rough- spotting Luke in the cafeteria, seeing the places all over campus that contained so many memories, and feeling like a lousy friend because I was so sad.  It was a dark time for me in my relationship with the Lord- I felt like He had abandoned me and I did not understand why the anxiety had ruled my life, why God would allow Luke and me to feel so miserable when we were apart.

Obviously God was with me the entire time, holding me and loving me.  God did some amazing things that year, and I am so thankful for an all-knowing God.  I'm thankful for His abounding grace and the work that He did in my life and relationship with Luke.

I really wish I had saved the emails that Luke sent me, but about a month or two into the semester, Luke emailed me basically saying he felt that God was telling him to continue to pursue me.  That he was not done with our relationship and that he wanted to be with me.  He had read a book that I think (can't remember for sure!) was about a missionary who had been through something similar.  The missionary continued to pursue a woman who kept turning him away, and eventually God worked in her and the two of them ended up getting married.

 the best roommates ever!

I remember meeting Luke at the quad on campus where he told me all of this. And I remember my heart exploding at the thought of someone I cared about so much wanting to pursue me despite all the pain I had caused.  We talked for a few weeks, but the anxiety was just too much, and one night I told him that things were just done.

Life was pretty dark for me at that point, and I'm especially thankful for the amazing girlfriends I had who forced me to hang out with them, and even walked me to the health and wellness center on campus to talk to the therapist.  (I met with the therapist once, but for me, it wasn't the most helpful.) I continued on with classes and sorority functions, but it was so hard for me to be there on campus.

I cared about Luke so much, and ached about not being with him and knowing that I had caused so much pain.  I wanted to be with him, but was so incredibly frustrated that anxiety was controlling me. And I certainly didn't want to get over him.

We had zero communication until Christmas break.  I think as long as we were on campus, I still felt some connection to him.  We lived and ate in all the same places, interacted with some of the same people (I ran a youth group at a local church with one of his roommates).  For Christmas, my family was flying out to Seattle to spend the holiday with extended family, and I think being completely across the country from Luke made me even more depressed.  Before we left, I sent him a brief email telling him I hoped he would have a great Christmas and enjoy being home with his family. The email he sent me back was very brief and to the point.  I remember crying me eyes out, but I knew that it was just how things needed to be.

Fast forward to when we were back on campus.  In January, the Grove City swim team has their senior recognition meet, where all the seniors on the team are honored during the meet.  I had been to see Luke swim so many times while we were dating, and I so wanted to be there to see him recognized!

Luke with his parents and coach

and yes, I did take pictures even though we hadn't been in contact in months

and yes, Luke has somesuper long hair and facial hair

One of my close friends was dating a diver on the team, and this meet was a big deal for him.  A couple of girls from our sorority were going to watch and invited me along.  Going against my better judgement, I tagged along.  But I really wanted to be there and catch a glimpse of Luke!  I knew his parents were going to be there for the recognition, so I was a little nervous about potentially running into them, but figured there were enough people that chances of that were slim.

The stands were packed, and I followed my friends as they searched for a place to sit.  We pushed our way up the stands, and of course, ended up sitting literally in front of Luke's parents.  I think my heart may have stopped for a second because I was terrified.  I just knew they must dislike me for all the pain I had caused their son.

I turned around and said hello, but then things got started with the diving and it was too loud to talk to anyone.  I remember the diving was exciting, and that my friend's boyfriend did really well, but I remember mostly thinking about the fact that I was there at a meet and could see Luke down on deck. And that I was sitting right in front of his parents.

After the diving, it was time for the senior recognition. Most of the students cleared out once the diving was done, and Luke's parents went down to the pool to be on deck with him during that.  I sat and watched, and when the recognition part was over decided I would stay a little longer to actually see Luke swim.

I'd known Luke's family since we were in high school, I had helped them pack up their house to move, and had dated Luke, so I definitely cared about his family.  Before leaving the meet, I put on my brave face and went to talk to them.  We talked about how everyone in the family was doing and how their Christmas had been.  They were as loving and accepting as ever, and I left feeling a tiny bit of hope.  Which of course was God at work, as He always is.

Snapshots

We tried a fun little activity I had stumbled upon on another mommy blog that involved pipe cleaners and a colander, both of which we happen to have.  The idea was to stick both ends of the pipe cleaners through the holes in the colander for some fun loops, and double bonus, it works on a toddler's fine motor skills.  The woman who posted about the activity said that it kept her toddler occupied for about 20 minutes.  Noelle enjoyed it for about five minutes, and half the time it was "mommy's turn", which meant I was sticking in half the pipe cleaners.

Most of my day is now spent walking around like this with Jonah.  Sometimes he holds a finger on both my hands to walk, other times he's feeling balanced enough to just hold one hand.  He's most likely walking towards the wall socket, Zoe's water bowl, the stairs, or for his sister's toddler potty.  He is going to be such a handful and we will need to baby-proof for sure!

 Speaking of the toddler potty, the whole potty-train Noelle by the end of January thing is not really working out.  She's been in underwear most days, but not every day, and not all day every day when she is.  Sometimes she requests diapers, and some days she has a bunch of accidents.  But we will just keep trying.  And, as has been typical when she's in underwear, she isn't wearing pants, but also loves to wear her borrowed snow boots!

With the snow we got earlier this week, Luke was in the mood for making the from a box snickerdoodles that have been sitting in our pantry for awhile.  The man who is not the biggest fan of sweets made nine whole cookies and the rest of the batter is now sitting in the fridge just waiting to be baked.  

Noelle wanted to go make a snowman, but I was lazy and didn't feel like changing her into a diaper or going out in the cold, so I brought the snow inside for her to play with.  I have to admit it's keeping her occupied for awhile, but there is most definitely going to be a giant puddle on the kitchen floor. The bigger the mess, the more fun it is, right?

Luke & Megan: The Breakups

Part 1 // Part 2

Yes, there was more than one breakup.  So many in fact, that I can't remember how many times we broke up.  And every single one of them was initiated by me.  To this day, I can't really explain why it all happened, but if nothing else, God used those times to affirm for both of us how much we really cared for each other, and taught us a lesson in trusting Him with our relationship.

This is the hard part of the relationship that I don't really enjoy remembering, but it was a big part of our relationship.  My anxiety and doubts were huge, consuming my thoughts and driving me to make decisions that were not based on trusting the Lord.  I know this time in our relationship also drove my family, probably Luke's family, and our friends a tad bit crazy.

summer 2006

During Christmas break of our sophomore year, we had officially been together for just over two months.  Things were good and we got to spend a little bit of time together in Maryland before Luke headed back to campus early for swimming stuff.  Soon after he left, I started to feel that God did not want me with Luke, that I was going against God's plan for my life.  All of this was based on horrible anxiety that would wake me up early in the morning and consume my thoughts.

Initially I attributed it to just missing him since we had gone from seeing each other all the time to being in two different states.  I decided to head up to campus a day early and surprise Luke at a swim meet at Washington and Jefferson.  Even though I am horrible at directions, I managed to find the campus and pool, and arrived just in time to watch Luke swim the 1000 freestyle.  It was an exciting race and he won!  His teammates were standing at the end of the swim lane and told him that I was up in the stands, but he wouldn't believe them.  It was pretty funny when he was finally willing to turn around and saw me sitting up there.

at some dance while at Grove City

We got back to school and hung out for the first few weeks of the second semester, but I just could not shake my anxiety.  Luke and I talked and decided that maybe we would go back to being just friends and wait a bit longer before pursuing a deeper relationship.  Neither one of us was happy with it, but it did help my anxiety to lessen.

The thing was, nothing really changed between us. We hung out all the time, met up for meals, talked about everything.  By the summer after sophomore year, we were officially back together.  We dated all of Junior year, and though it was so much fun being with him at Grove City, I was plagued by the anxiousness and feeling that I should not be with him.  I talked to my roommates, and friends, and parents, and of course Luke, about how I felt.  No one could come up with a good reason for why I felt that way, but encouraged me to stay with him.

I can't even remember the timeline for when the rest of the breakups happened, but the final breakup happened while I was on vacation with my family right before senior year.  One of my best friends, Kristen, was with us at the beach for a few days, and even with her there as a distraction, I was just so distraught over my anxiety.  I remember waking up super early and crying to my mom about how I just wanted the feeling to go away and I just wanted to enjoy being with Luke.

typical

I ended up calling him and telling him that we just couldn't be together.  That God had other plans for him, and that I only wanted him to be happy.  The rest of our vacation was hard for me to enjoy, and when we headed home, I did not even want to think about heading back to Grove City.  It's such a small campus that I knew there was a good chance we'd see each other around.  I begged my parents to let me take a year off, but deep down I knew that was a bad idea.

Thankfully, God was at work, as He always is, and that was not how things ended for us.  I am SO thankful for the people and opportunities that God put in my life while at Grove City.  I had some amazing friends who helped me, sorority sisters who loved me, and family who put up with me when I called them every single night crying my eyes out.  I love that both God and Luke continued to pursue my heart!

Jonah: 9 Month Update

This past month has been a big month of change for Jonah.  He grew a good amount and he is moving everywhere! Crawling, pulling up, cruising, holding our fingers and walking around.  I cannot keep up with him and it is amazing how different he is from Noelle, who was not even crawling at this point.

Height and Weight: At his appointment on Friday he weighed in at 17 pounds 2 ounces, which is a four pound weight gain from his six month appointment.  He went from the less than third percentile up to the fifth percentile.  The doctor was very happy with his weight gain (yay formula!).  He was 27 inches, which is the 12th percentile.  A shorty, but I don't really expect any of my kids to be big.

Sleep:  He's mostly been good about only waking up once a night.  If he's sick, he'll wake up more. And if he wakes up a second time when he's not sick, we let him cry it out, which usually only lasts for a few minutes.  The doctor did say his upper gums look swollen, and I did think that he might be teething, so hopefully those pop through soon!  Other than waking up one time at night, he usually sleeps for about 12 hours.

We still usually get two naps a day, but his morning nap is now more like three hours after he wakes up as opposed to two hours after, and usually lasts around two hours.  His afternoon nap is usually less than an hour, but he somehow manages to stay awake till his 7:00 bedtime, even on the occasional day when he skips that afternoon nap.

Eating: I think we're mostly done with nursing.  He'll nurse for a very short time and then pop his head up and just look around like he's all done.  Over time, I can tell my supply has gone down, but we've been continuing with the formula.  He nurses first thing in the morning, before each nap, and before bed.  He also gets about four six ounce bottles of formula throughout the day.

This past month he's also become quite the pro at picking up and feeding himself cheerios and small chunks of sweet potato and fruit.  If Noelle leaves food laying around, there's a good chance he's going to eat it. She left the remnants of her peanut butter sandwich on the coffee table, and I found Jonah happily chomping away on it.  Good to know he doesn't have a peanut allergy!  I still make him purees, but I think we'll start moving more towards getting him to feed himself.

Diapers/Clothing: He still seems to fit size 2 diapers pretty well, and is wearing mostly 6 month and 6-9 month clothes.  I just put all of his 9 month sized things in his dresser, which are a little big, but we just roll up the pant legs when needed.

Social/Milestones:  Crawling everywhere, pulling up on everything, going from sitting to crawling to sitting like a pro, and cruising around the coffee table to the side table and along the wall.  He is EVERYWHERE!  Bathtime is always interesting when he's constantly moving and trying to pull himself up on the side of the tub.  There were two nights when he woke up and was wailing away for awhile so I went to check on him and he was standing in his crib.  I think he hadn't quite figured out how to get back down, but he's quite good at that now.

He still prefers being with mom and dad and we have not been able to leave him in nursery for a full service yet.  He's constantly flipping around when we try to change his diaper, and gets really angry when we put him into his car seat.  I think that even though he hates being in the car seat, he does enjoy getting out of the house and being in a new place.

so hard getting him to lay down

Likes: Holding our fingers and walking around is one of his favorite things.  If we try to place him on the floor, he just stiffens his legs and back and won't sit.  He loves following Noelle around and trying to get a hold of everything that does not belong to him.  Everything goes in his mouth.  He seems to enjoy bathtime and will usually be happy in the tub even if he's been cranky most of the day.
Dislikes: He hates being on his back while getting his diaper changed. He tries so hard to roll back over so we have to pin him down.  He dislikes being away from mom and dad, and he hates being left for too long in one spot.

Fun things we did: He celebrated his first Christmas and New Years!  I love baby's first holiday celebrations and it was fun seeing him "open" presents and get spoiled by family.  We had our pancakes and pajamas party, and a play date with Becker and Vivian.  We met with both of our Bible study groups, and watched some Ravens football with Nana and Grandpa.  There were a few days of snow, which was fun to play in!

Pictures from the past month:

 hanging out at home

 feeding himself some cheerios

 a walk in the snow

 finally going to get Jonah's birth certificate

 getting Chick-Fil-A with daddy

 hanging out at the library

 being cranky sometimes

9 month well-check

Luke & Megan: The DTR Talk

Part 1

Now onto the part of our story where we officially move from friendship to more.

The rest of high school passed with Luke and I hanging out on occasion when our friends from our missions trip team would get together.  We traveled on the same team together again the summer after our Junior year of high school to Lithuania and Latvia.  That summer things were completely platonic, and I enjoyed teasing Luke and our friend Joe about the girls they had crushes on.  Luke, Joe, our friend Mike, and I all applied to go to Grove City College, and even though three of us were placed on the waiting list, we all ended up going to Grove City.

 flying home from Lithuania- probably one of the first pictures of just the two of us

My freshman year hall was linked with Luke's freshman hall to get guys and girls to meet one another and hang out during intervis (specific hours sent aside for students of the opposite sex to hang out in each other's dorms).  But even without that connection, I introduced Luke to one of my freshman year roommates and the two of them hit it off.  I came to the conclusion that at least part of the reason I was at Grove City was to bring the two of them together.  My roommates and I would go and hang out on Luke's hall on Saturday nights, and a lot of those guys became close friends over my four years at Grove City.

Luke and my roommate ended up not pursuing a relationship and Luke and I didn't see as much of each other after that. But the summer after freshman year, I hung out with him and Joe quite a bit. Luke and I drove back up to Grove City together for the beginning of our sophomore year and spent a lot of time hanging out with each other, as well as with his roommate, Justin.  The three of us went to Canada for the day, hung out during intervis, and wandered around campus together.  A lot of times I would spend an afternoon talking to Luke on the phone, and we ate lunch together after our Monday/Wednesday/Friday classes.

Niagra Falls, Canada

Joe was dating one of my best friends, Kate, at the time.  The four of us would often do things together, and on November 7, 2004, Luke finally admitted to Joe that he liked me.  It was all very junior high-esqe, but Joe called Kate, who called me, and said that Luke wanted to meet me in the middle of the quad, which had become "our" meeting place if we needed to talk to each other.

We somehow managed to get the words out that we liked each other, and spent some time walking around campus talking relationship, friendship, and more.  It was the start of us, and it was definitely exciting moving beyond the "just friends" stage.  The DTR (determine the relationship) talk had finally happened after months of spending more and more time together.

one of our first dates- the Crimson: a dinner and dance 

in December on campus at Grove City

Luke was my first (and only!) relationship and so it was a whole new world to me to be dating someone.  And I loved it!  Grove City seemed more magical and many places on campus hold so many memories of things that we did and talks that we had.  The beginning of a relationship is always so wonderful, and God was certainly at work in each of us, especially as our relationship was tested through my insecurities and doubts.

Three Day Weekend Highs and Lows

Our three day weekend had some highs and lows, but I love that Luke was home for MLK Day.  He didn't get that day off at his old job and I love having him home as much as possible!

Some highlights of the weekend:

- My Friday evening sitting at Panera for some much needed me-time was so refreshing!  It was only the second time I've ever not been home for Jonah's bedtime since he's been born (the first being when Luke and I went to his work Christmas party), but we both survived.  And as I was driving to Panera, Luke texted me to tell me that Noelle kept saying "Mommy come back here!", but thankfully it didn't take her long to be happy with Daddy.  I love that she loves me, but it makes me feel bad when I leave!

working on a Pinterest find and sorting colors

- On Saturday we went up to Luke's parent's house for a Mary Kay party that Lydia was hosting.  It was some good girl time for me, and I wound up with some good stuff for my super dry hands.  The Mary Kay consultant was Lydia's best friend from Grove City, and Lydia pointed out that she and I are sorority sisters.  Ah, the good old sorority days.  We also got to hang out with Luke's parents for a while and catch up with them.

- We hosted one of our Bible study groups on Sunday evening.  Church ended up getting canceled Sunday morning because of slick roads in Howard County, so it was extra great being able to fellowship with our friends that evening. We love the two groups that we're involved with and being able to share Christ with one another.  Noelle's friend Lillian is in both groups and the two of them seem to have a blast together- Kristina and I are a tad worried about how crazy future sleep overs will be with the two of them!

- We've slowly been working on this whole potty training thing with Noelle, and I feel like I'm not being as consistent as I should be about keeping her out of a diaper.  She spent most of Sunday in a diaper, but after everyone got here for Bible study, I went to change her and told her that Lillian doesn't wear a diaper anymore.  So of course she wanted to wear her "underwears", as she calls them. At one point, after Lillian had used the potty, Noelle went upstairs and used the potty completely on her own!  Luke and I were so surprised!  And then, she did it again later on that evening.  But, as it seems to be going with our potty training, one step forward, two steps back.  On Monday, she came upstairs to pee in the potty, but had totally pooped in her underwear.  Oh the joys of parenthood!

so gross, but so Jonah and I had to take a picture

And now for the not so fun parts of the weekend:

- Saturday morning I finally took our cat Nellie to the vet.  She's been going through phases where she will puke daily, and then stop for a while, but then start back up again.  She is definitely a very anxious kitty and has licked all the fur off her belly and paws.  Anyhow, the vet gave me a quote for what she thought needed to be done that came to about $500.  I did not want to spend that amount, and we got it down to about $200 which included two vaccines and a senior cat blood work. However, they also gave me a quote before I left for a dental procedure that she needed that was going to cost about $900! I just cannot justify spending that much on a cat when I want to be able to save for my kid's college.  Especially on a cat that won't let us touch her and who has made a complete mess of our house.

typical Nellie- trying to get away

- This all leads to the worst part of the weekend.  Without doing the dental procedure for Nellie, she would continue to be in a lot of pain (she had some exposed roots), so we decided it was time to put her down.  I knew I would be sad, but I cried a lot more yesterday than I thought I would.  It broke my heart to have to put down a sweet cat, even though I knew it was for the best.  We took her to our county's humane society, and I was especially glad that Luke was with me to take care of the paperwork and payment.  I just held on to Jonah and cried and pointed the fish out to Noelle to try to distract all of us.  Thankfully, Noelle is young enough that she has no idea and will probably never ask about Nellie.

Now onto the rest of the week and getting ready for Jonah to turn nine months old on Friday!

Luke & Megan: Where It All Began

This has been the day of "bodily fluids"- cleaning out the toddler potty, changing poopy diapers, wiping up a larger amount than normal of spit up, and cleaning up after two cats throwing up their food. Thankfully, Luke sent me off to have some me-time and I am happily sitting in Panera typing away and eating delicious food that I did not make.

And now for something that's been on my mind for a little while.

For the sake of recording it somewhere, I wanted to write a few posts taking me back to when our little family began.  Back to the beginning of when there was just Luke and me.  Because without Luke, we wouldn't have our adorable Wiedeman littles.  It will probably take me awhile to get all my thoughts and memories together, but I want it written down somewhere!

Some parts I'll speed through and others may require more detail.  I'm not much of a story-teller, but more of a list the order of events person, but I want to remember and record it before I get too much further away from that time in my life.  Hopefully it will also help with my New Years desire to focus more on my husband and growing that relationship.

So I'll start at the very beginning.  Back to when Luke and I were 9 years old.  I started to go to a Christian elementary school in fourth grade, and Luke had attended the school first through third grade.  While we just missed going to school together, his dad did drive the bus for my fourth grade class to go to our outdoor school.  And since he was driving, Luke got to come along (fourth grade was the start of his homeschooling career).

my siblings and me on the first day of school (I was in either 4th or 5th grade)

I really have no memory of him being on the trip, just some possible thoughts in the back of my mind wondering who the random kid was that was on the trip with us.  But really, I don't think the two of us interacted one tiny bit on that trip.  Pretty sure I straight up just didn't talk to boys at that time in my life.

Fast forward to the summer between freshman and sophomore year of college (aka 2000).  I had just finished my first year back in the good ol' public school system and Luke was still being home-schooled.  My younger siblings still attended the Christian elementary and middle school so my mom was still in contact with my teachers.  One day when she was volunteering she got to talking with my 8th grade English teacher about a missions trip he was leading that summer through the church associated with the Christian school.

Now my mom has always pushed me to be less shy and do more things.  She has always wanted my siblings and I to grow in our faith, and so her immediate thought was that a missions trip would be the perfect thing for me to do.  What a great thing for her incredibly quiet, introverted 15 year old to spend six weeks away from home talking to complete strangers.

At least that's how I viewed it, and I thought it was a not so good idea.  BUT in God's amazing goodness and providence I ended up going on the trip.  Prior to leaving, parents and team members had a meeting one evening at the church to go over logistics, and it was the first time I laid my eyes on Luke (aside from probably seeing him during our outdoor school trip in fourth grade.)  I can still remember the black zip-up Oriole's windbreaker he was wearing, and his crazy brown hair and cute smile.  And even thought he was shorter than me and weighed less than I did, it was definitely like at first sight!

Let's just say it was like at first sight for both of us and pretty much the entire trip was me avoiding all eye contact with him while wanting desperately to hang out with him, and him being a little flirt.  I can still remember one evening when a few of us were hanging out (with our female leader by the way) and someone offered Luke a mint.  He took it, and while looking directly at me, said something about how it makes a person's breath kissable.  Everyone in the room died laughing because they all knew that we were crushing on each other.  And I'm pretty sure I turned bright red.

please excuse the picture of a picture

That was pretty much how the summer went (and Luke was officially taller than me by the end of the summer).  The Lord grew me and stretched me in so many ways that summer.  It was the first time in my life where my relationship with the Lord was real- when I learned to spend time with Him and rely on Him.  And when summer came to an end, Luke and I had a ridiculous conversation over Instant Messenger (the good ol' days) where I basically told him that we could not be more than friends.  And his response was basically "duh, I know, we're 15 years old", and that was that.

I saw him on occasion when I went to his church's youth group or hung out with him and the rest of our team members from the trip.  Things just kind of eased into an easygoing friendship and life was good.  I went to high school dances with other guys, but never dated.  I knew I didn't want a high school relationship because I knew I would put too much of my heart into it and would be crushed when it ended.  But Luke and I were friends, and we were content with where our relationship (or lack thereof) stood.

Lately // 4

One Sunday morning we were all up and dressed for church by 9:30, except for Jonah who was napping.  Luke and I were chatting in the kitchen while Noelle was playing, and when she wandered over to us, we could tell that she had been doing some "business" in her diaper.  Luke smelled her to double check and said "oh yeah, there's a poop" (oh the things we say as parents).  I told him since I changed all the diapers yesterday, it was his turn to do this one.  He admitted defeat and told Noelle to head upstairs.  As they walked over to the stairs Noelle exclaims, "Daddy's turn!"

Jonah all dressed for church

The year of 2015 will be the year of Big Deal Birthdays for this house.  Okay, maybe they aren't that big of a deal, but to me they are!  Jonah will of course be turning the big one! I can't believe how close we already are to his first birthday, and I'm wanting to play around on Pinterest to get some fun ideas for his party.  Luke and I both turn 30 this year, which used to sound so old to me, but now that I'm here it really doesn't seem that bad.  Plus I keep hearing from a lot of people how great your 30's are.  And Noelle will be turning three, which may not seem like much, but it is her golden birthday- turning three on the third of the month.  I feel like I should make a big deal about it (especially since I did nothing for her second birthday), so hopefully I can get my act together and do something fun!

Noelle eating a cupcake on her first birthday

On January 6, we had a fun snow day.  We got about 2-3 inches of snow and the kids in our county had off school. My friend's kids who I watch in the morning before school still came over for a few hours while their parents had a meeting and Noelle had fun playing with them over here.  When their mom got home, Noelle went over to play with them and played in the snow as well.  Jonah and I ventured out to see what kind of fun they were having, and Noelle was having an absolute blast!  She was trying to do everything the big kids were doing, including rolling down the hill and sliding belly first on the snow.

Pancakes and Pajamas

What could be better than hanging out in your pajamas all day on a Saturday?  Having friends come over in their PJs and eating pancakes with you!

We hosted a pajamas and pancakes party this past Saturday and it ended up being a lot of fun!  It was mostly people from our church who all have at least one kid (or one on the way), and I know I had a blast seeing everyone dressed in their fun pajamas.  Luke was the chef of the day and spent a lot of time in the kitchen making pancakes and sausage and bacon.  We also had a parfait table and some egg casserole dishes that my mom and I made.

the Frozen princess dress was of course 

being worn over her Frozen PJs

When I sent out the invite, I wanted to invite people from church as well as people from my MOPS group and by the time I sent it out, I realized I had invited over 40 people! Probably a little much for our tiny townhouse to hold, but we've always wanted our home to be open and we never want to exclude anyone!  The final count for who could come was 25 people, and even that amount was stressing me out. I cleaned and organized the basement so that there would be seating and toys down there, but everyone ended up staying upstairs.  It was mass craziness with all the adults sitting and chatting, while the kids were playing with the toys and books all around us.  But it was also just perfect and God knew just what our house would hold.

just wearing our PJs

I found the pajamas and pancakes party idea floating around on Instagram and instantly loved the idea of it!  It really is the perfect thing for families with young kids who like to wake up early- why not have a party that starts at 10 a.m. on a Saturday?  And I love breakfast foods, which are usually pretty easy to produce in large quantities.  Pinterest had some fun ideas to add to the party, but we kept it pretty simple with doing the food and hanging out.

Noelle was kind of a mess during the whole party and mostly just wanted "uppie mommy", but I think she had fun.  And she was able to name her friend's names when I asked her later who had come to the party- amazing to me to see her memory and vocabulary improving!  Jonah was pretty well behaved and got to spend a little bit of time with grandparents who all came to the party. Overall, we had a blast and might just have to make this a yearly occurrence!

Jonah in his PJs well after the party ended

And the kids and I stayed in our PJs the rest of the day, even when we went over to my parent's house to watch the Ravens game.  It really can't get much better than that!

Onto the New Year

As I sit here a week into the new year, Noelle is watching yet another episode of Strawberry Shortcake and cheerios are scattered all over the floor (because, really, am I going to be able to sweep three times a day?)  Jonah is crying in his crib because he's figured out how to pull himself to standing, and has been on a nap strike, taking a nap for a grand total of one hour yesterday.  We'll see how today goes.  Noelle is walking around in her pajama shirt and underwear (and of course the princess dress) because we're trying potty training once again.

And I'm so thankful that I get to be here at home with my children.  Some days are long and hard, and all I want to do is hand them off to someone else so I can go take a nap.  But at the same time, they are the best and make me laugh and amaze me with what they do each day.  Noelle has been using longer sentences, Jonah is pulling himself up on everything and cruising around the table.  They are such a joy to watch grow up.

Noelle in January last year- can't believe how much she's changed!

I think these hard days are the in-my-face reminders that I need Jesus.  I need His grace, His patience, and I definitely need His wisdom.  I cannot do motherhood without Him.  Sometimes I think I've got it all under control, and then both kids are crying and want to be held at the same time.  Noelle pushes us and likes to use the word "no" when we ask her to do something.  At least sometimes she's polite when we ask her to pick up her toys and she says "no, thank you."

When thinking back on last year, I think that 2014 was one of our best years, thanks to Jonah, and one of our hardest, also thanks to Jonah.  His first six months were hard to get through, but Jesus was there through it all and He sustained me.  Just like He'll sustain me throughout this year and He will be my constant.

another new trick of feeding himself cheerios

It was such a blessing to add Jonah to our family last year, and I'm looking forward to seeing what Jesus does with our family this year.  I've never really made New Years resolutions, but there are a few things I want to focus on.  Mostly, I want to just be with Jesus throughout the day.  I read a devotion the other day that talked about the hymn "I Need Thee Every Hour" and included this verse: John 15:5b "...apart from me you can do nothing."  It is the truth and motherhood has a constant way of bringing me back to that.

Noelle came up with the idea of making a "choo choo train" all on her own

And of course some practical things I want to think about.  After the amount of sugar I ate in December, I want to be much more conscientious about how much I'm putting in my body.  I want to be a better mom and focus on things like washing hands and brushing teeth more often (eep!), and learning about how to better raise our children in Christ.  I want to be a better wife- ever since we had Noelle I've been so focused on the kids.  But Luke is my best friend and he's the one relationship I'll have when the kids are grown up and gone.  Thankfully Luke's sister Lydia offered to watch the kids on the first Friday of the month so that we can go out.  We've already had one date and it was so much fun to be out with him!

date night selfie // went to dinner at Becks and then 

walked around Home Depot

Just for fun, Noelle's goal is to be potty trained before she turns three, and Jonah's is to sleep through the night EVERY night.

December in Pictures

December was a busy month with all the Christmas fun we had going on!  As always, the month passed way too quickly and I'm sad that Christmas music season is over (though that won't necessarily stop me from listening!)  And now that Christmas is over, I'd be okay with winter being over.

We got Jonah's first Christmas tree.

Christmas party with our MOPS group.

 All the Christmas jammies were worn.

 Jonah sat in the high chair for the first time.

I had fun dressing the littles in Christmas clothes for church!

 Jonah started pulling himself up and standing with assistance.

We celebrated Christmas with the Perraults and Wiedemans.

Noelle opening her stocking on Christmas morning.  Luke did a great job picking out everything that went in the stocking!

Christmas morning matching jammies!

 We met daddy for a Chick-Fil-A lunch date before he started his new job.

Now onto all the fun that 2015 will bring!