What Motherhood Looks Like For Me Now

I know that my role as a mom will change over the years, and a part of me is scared that this current time with them being little will be my favorite.  But everyone keeps assuring me that they love each of the stages that their children go through.  It's just hard for me to picture loving a time more than this!

Right now, motherhood for me is staying at home full time with my littles. I love it and it is something I have always wanted to do, but it's certainly not easy.  I struggle between feeling like I have too much to get done that is not getting done, and feeling stuck because there is only so much stimulation a two year old and six month old can give me.

Heather Boockholdt photography

Motherhood right now is taking walks around the block with one baby in the Ergo and pushing one in her play car.  It is collecting leaves and rocks and sticks.  It's sitting and coloring and tracing hand prints that will only stay small for a little while.

Motherhood is pushing two babies in a stroller and making baby food in the baby bullet.  It is making multiple Target runs to pick up two different sized diapers, and changing diapers at least 10 times a day.  Motherhood is driving my toddler around until she falls asleep and praying that I can transfer her to her bed for a nap without waking her up.

It is spending all day feeding my six month old to fatten him up by nursing him, spooning him solids, and giving him bottles with formula.  It is singing the same song over and over again at the request of my two year old.  Motherhood is celebrating the little milestones- first words, complete (yet simple) sentences, first teeth, sleeping through the night, and so much more.

It is folding tiny laundry, and organizing different sized clothes that they grow through so very quickly.  Motherhood is spending extra money on Gerber fruit and veggie pouches so that my toddler is getting some form of vegetables in her diet.  It's waking up extra early to workout so that I can spend the rest of the day focused on my babies and on meeting their needs.  It's spending the evenings laughing, playing, and praying through our bathtime and bedtime routines, and then going to bed with my toddler so I can wake up and do it all again the next day.

Motherhood for me now is learning that God's grace is new everyday when I lose patience with my kids.  It is learning to trust Him when I worry about the growth and development of my babies.  And it is catching a glimpse of just how much He loves me because of how much I love my littles.