So Worth It

Sunday was a rough day for Jonah. Lots of fussing, seemed to only want me, but still wasn't entirely happy when I was holding him. At one point, Luke took him downstairs while I was showering and got him to be happy playing with toys. But as soon as Jonah heard my voice when I asked Luke a question, he lost it again.

But! But I think the culprit might be some tummy issues with milk. Starting at the end of last week, I gave him a bottle with milk in it, and then more and more milk bottles as our supply of formula dwindled. He's been fussier than usual the last few days, and in the past two days especially, has had some pretty bad diaper rash. I'm going to call the pediatrician, and go back to just formula for now to see if that helps. Poor baby!

His fussiness on Sunday was reminiscent of his first six months of life when we had no idea what was wrong. He continued to be fussy when we got home from church, and then only took a short nap. He was fussy when he woke up, but the fussies stopped as soon as I took him outside in the sunshine. I pushed him around in the little car for awhile, but once I took him back inside, he lost it again. I took him to Bible study, and he was fine the entire time we were there, even when it meant pushing back his bedtime. I think sometimes he just needs to be out of the house.

As fussy as he was, and as frustrated as both Luke and I were, it's amazing how all of it can be wiped away in one quiet, sweet moment with him. I stood swaying with my baby boy in his room before bed, humming "Jesus Loves Me". He rested his head on my shoulder for a little while, and then lifted his head up to look at me. I smiled at him, and he opened his mouth, leaned in, and put his mouth on my chin. I'll call it a baby kiss! I laughed softly, and he giggled right back at me.

I continued to give him little kisses on his nose and around his mouth, and he kept laughing. For that moment, in the darkness of his room, I got to make a precious memory with my almost one year old. Those really good moments make all the hard ones more than okay. Those moments make my heart swell and love grow even bigger. And I am so thankful for the sweet times that come with the hard ones that add up to make motherhood such a gift.