Swim Suit Season

Time to be real.

I've been struggling a lot lately with my body. Can I really blame the gut and love handles on pregnancy when it's been over a year since I gave birth? I think not.

I'm about a pound over what I weighed prior to getting pregnant with Jonah, and three pounds LESS than what I weighed prior to getting pregnant with Noelle- but the tummy remains and my body in general is different (thank you, breastfeeding!)

beach trip 2013

I don't remember struggling with this as much after Noelle was born, but I was younger and I think that helped me bounce back a bit better. Plus, I think I was distracted by how much I loved my baby, I didn't nurse her (I think my body held on to fat when I was nursing Jonah), and I was busy balancing a baby and working part time.

I love sweets, and I noticed a definite change in metabolism as I got closer to 30. Those things combined do not make it easy to lose weight. And I have diastasis recti (split abs) about two finger tips wide, and after reading that some ab work-outs make it worse, I'm afraid to do ANY ab work.

But, even as I write this, I'm reminded that my soft tummy is still in part a reminder that I carried two babies. It's a reminder that I enjoy getting ice cream with Luke, and baking cookies with our littles. Some women can get a flat stomach after pregnancy, but that may not be me.

And with a beach vacation coming up, I've been stressing about wearing a bathing suit.

But as my friend Natalie reminded me with this blog post- my kids will not notice or remember what I looked like in a bathing suit. They will remember mom splashing and playing with them, running into the waves and laughing.

I want to make memories with them, and I want them to remember having fun with ME, not remember mom sitting on the sidelines.

The idea of getting into a swim suit is still not an easy one, but I'll be praying that God reminds me that I am His, made in His image, and that HE chose me to be the mom of Noelle and Jonah.

So, here's to a summer of fun in the sun!