Praying for Wisdom

Last Friday Luke and I had our first appointment with the fertility doctor. Before going, we completed some questionnaires, and I spent time contacting our insurance company to find out what, if anything, is covered. Thankfully we have pretty good insurance, but we will still be paying out of pocket for some things, and based on what the doctor told us, we're trying to figure out how far down that road we want to go. I at least want to do the initial testing to find out if there are any easy fixes that may help us.

After the doctor reviewed the questionnaires we'd completed, and asked us a few more questions, he basically told me that it was most likely that my body was not ovulating because I do not weigh enough. Along with getting the initial blood tests and ultrasounds done, he wants me to work on gaining weight and working out less. It was pretty much the same thing my GYN told me- except she basically straight up asked me if I have an eating disorder. While I do run pretty much every day, it's more for sanity's sake than for the calorie burn, but I do appreciate that too!

Since our appointment with the fertility doctor, I've been focusing on recipes that include healthy fats (so far mostly avocado). And right after our appointment, Luke and I went out to eat at the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate my birthday while my mom still had the kids. My brain was already in gaining weight mode and so I picked the California Guacamole Salad- so much avocado and it was delicious! (And Luke and I "shared" a piece of chocolate tuxedo cream cheesecake!) Along with adding more healthy fats to my diet (I already consume so much peanut butter, and use coconut oil and olive oil when cooking), my plan is to run no more than four days a week, and walk and/or do 21 day fix workouts on other days. I'm really hoping that doing less strenuous exercise will help with getting my cycle back!

I got my initial blood work done on Monday, so I guess I'll hear the results once the doctor gets them back. I go in to the fertility office twice this week for more blood work and ultrasounds in order to assess where I am in my cycle. Once we have the information, we can hopefully figure out a course of action.

I've been able to share this with some girls in my MOPS group, and with some friends at church, and two of them have also been through the overwhelming feelings and emotions of infertility and being treated through the clinic we're using. Both have told me that I can come to them with any questions or if I need a shoulder to cry on, and I am so thankful for that!

Luke and I are unsure about how far in to this we want to go because if it really is just a matter of me gaining weight/working out less, then we should be able to do that on our own. Or I might be better off paying a nutritionist than the infertility doctor. BUT in the case that it is more than that, I want to do the initial testing. Friends and family who have dealt with infertility have encouraged us to at least go that far. I am a tad skeptical about my weight being the sole issue since up until six months ago, I weighed more than my pre-pregnancy weight with Jonah, and had my one and only spontaneous period after I lost that "extra"weight. But the doctor said that it's possible my body's threshold has changed, and now I need more weight in order for everything to function as it should.

I've been doing a lot of praying that God will give us clear answers on what to do. Maybe we're done, and my desire for another baby will go away, Or maybe God is just saying wait- and He has a plan for something else down the road. I don't know yet, but I do trust that He knows best.

And in the meantime, I'll mourn the fact that my "baby" is almost two!