Wednesday, January 25, 2017

Insomnia, Holden, and a Play Date

Insomnia is the name of the game, and now with a cold (sinus infection??) I'm getting very little sleep. Prep for those newborn nights, am I right? I think I had a grand total of three hours of sleep last night. I can't breath through my nose, and when I wake up my lips and mouth are so dry, I can't get comfortable enough to fall back asleep. Some day I'll be healthy again and will be able to sleep!

On Friday last week, my mom hosted Luke's parents at her house for our annual dinner with the Perraults and Wiedemans, and it was so great to have everyone together. When we all sat down at the table for dinner, Jonah leaned over to me and said "there's two grandpas!" in his sweet, little, almost three year old voice.


As of yesterday, I was officially 18 weeks pregnant. I'm finding this pregnancy to be a struggle with body image, but I'm also continually reminding myself of this little miracle growing away inside me. I'm at a heavier weight than I was with either of my other two at this point (at least I think so), and of course I stress about losing the weight after baby is here. But I also need to keep in mind that I never really "recovered" from the hypothalamic amenorrhea, and will need to make sure I don't over exercise and eat enough once baby does come. Granted, eating ice cream every night certainly isn't helping my weight. :)

Last night I just laid in bed with my hand on my belly praying over this sweet babe, that he or she would come to know Jesus, and that the anatomy scan in two weeks will go well. After much convincing from a few friends, we decided to not find out the gender. It's our chance- we have all the clothes and we're not having any more babies after this. Everyone who has waited keeps talking about how special that moment is when baby is born.  Bring on the surprise!

We've had Holden a couple of days a week over the last few weeks, and he has been such a good baby! I feel like he fits right in to our crazy, and I'm extra thankful I'm pregnant, because Holden makes me want another baby right now! He's come to pre-k dropoff/pickup and ballet class, he's been napping like a champ, and he really only seems to cry when he's tired or hungry. So very different from Jonah, and I'm praying that Holden is teaching the one in my belly his good, easy-going baby ways. :)

a bump and a baby

We had some friends over yesterday morning for a play date, and that's the first time in awhile I've had any one over. It was SO good to catch up with my friend, and watch our kids play and fight (ha!) I know that compared to a quite a few of my friends, my house is not the cleanest, but I'm resisting the urge to feel like my house has to be perfect in order for anyone to come over. The bathroom wasn't even freshly cleaned yesterday (sorry, Natalie!), so hopefully that's a step in the right direction. Just keeping it real, and sharing life honestly.

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Getting Out

Winter, as I've always said, is hard for me with the littles. I don't know what to do with them, and after we've read books for an hour, I'm often left wondering what we'll do for the 6 hours left in the day until Daddy gets home. They got a slew of new toys for Christmas, which keeps them occupied for a bit, but then they start asking for T.V., and I really don't want to cave into that too early in the day!

Our go to outings are the mall (for the play place and carousel) and Chick Fil A. The kids have been sick for the past week (Jonah is still battling a cough, and Noelle woke up with a snot fountain over the weekend) so we've barely left the house. Most winters, I'm willing to risk getting sick because I can't stand being cooped up for long, but with this bout of sickness, and with friends sharing that their families are getting struck by the norovirus, I'm nervous to go anywhere!

But all that being said, we have been doing some fun things, and I know that sickness is a part of childhood. We're just building up their immunities for later, right? At the end of last week, I left sick Jonah at home with Luke working in the basement to go celebrate Noelle's birthday at school. She chose oreos as her snack to share, and My Little Pony napkins. It was so fun seeing her in her school environment, and singing happy birthday to her with all her little school friends. And I loved how excited she got when she saw me walk through the door!

We also like to venture out to Dunkin Donuts, but that was more fun when my body could handle caffeine and I could get free coffee after the Ravens won. And it was more fun when Heather wasn't working and could meet us there. BUT I did get a Dunkin Donuts gift card for Christmas, so since Luke is limiting me on our Chick Fil A visits (it was needed!), I figure we'll go spend gift card money at Dunkin Donuts. Plus these two love their strawberry sprinkle donuts.

And after getting a good amount of money to Starbucks for Christmas, Jonah and I have been doing the drive thru, or going in more than once a week over the last few weeks (decaf skinny cinnamon dolce latte for the win!) I do enjoy the one on one time with him, and it's good to be out of the house, even for just a short bit.

coffee for me, cake pop for J
Only a little over two months left of winter, right? It will fly by and be spring before we know it, and I'm going to try to enjoy it as much as we can!

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Finding Out

I originally wrote this post on Wednesday, September 19th, the day I went in for my blood test at Shady Grove!


Yesterday I peed on a stick. I knew I was going in today for a blood test to find out if I was pregnant or not after our IUI at the beginning of the month. I wanted to know- to at least know if it was negative. I wanted to be a little more mentally prepared, and be able to mourn if we weren't pregnant, and start gearing myself up for another cycle.

My alarm went off at 5:00 so that I could workout (a.k.a walk on the treadmill) before the craziness of the day started. I grabbed the pregnancy test that I had secretly stuck in the medicine cabinet the night before and sat down to do the deed. Immediately the test line filled and remained blank. No second line. The test was negative.

Even though I had geared myself up expecting it to be negative, the sinking feeling of sadness crept over me that I've felt over almost every pregnancy announcement in the last two years. But I pep talked myself into finishing getting ready, and as I was brushing my teeth, I glanced down and saw a faint second line.

Wait, what??

There was a barely there line, but just enough to give me hope and make my heart skip a beat. It was positive!! I went from feeling down, to elated. I couldn't stop smiling.

I decided to wait until the blood test confirmed it today before telling Luke. I knew that if it was a really low number, it could mean an early miscarriage. But our number was 306 (measuring hCG, which is made from the cells in the placenta), and our nurse told me they like to see a minimum of 100. So a great number, and such an answer to prayer! When my nurse called and told me, I squeezed Noelle and told her we were having a baby, and we would have to celebrate with daddy tonight (aka, I got sushi- nothing raw for me!)

What a blessing that our first IUI worked! Even though the last few months have included setbacks, and doing things I never thought I would have to do, it has been such a sweet time of seeing and feeling God at work in my life. Learning again and again to lay down my dreams for His bigger and better dreams.

This IUI did not "help" God get us pregnant, but rather it shed even more light on the fact that God is the giver of life.

He chose the right time.

He chose the right way.

He chose life for this baby- however brief or long that may be. God is good, all the time!

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Our Week So Far

Poor Jonah woke up with a fever this morning after coughing for most of the day and through the night last night. He woke up earlier than usual and after feeling how hot he was, I knew there was no way I'd be taking him anywhere today. I know that RSV is going around and all his symptoms match it, but I'm praying it passes quickly.

Today was also the day that Noelle was supposed to be celebrating her (half) birthday at school, and parents and siblings are allowed to come. I told Luke I would be sad to miss it since I wouldn't be able to take Jonah, and thankfully he said he'd work from home so I could still go. Yay!

As Noelle and I were getting ready to walk out the door to get her to school, I saw an email come through on my phone from her school. I quickly opened it and found out school was cancelled because the county schools were closed. The weather wasn't bad, but I guess certain areas had some icy roads. So we all stayed home, and while Luke worked, me the littles watched T.V. and napped. It was slow and lazy, but hopefully it helps Jonah feel better!

Monday and yesterday we had my nephew Holden with us for a few hours. Yesterday he ended up napping for most of the time he was here, but Monday I ventured out with all three to the library and to pick up a few things at Walmart. Holden was not happy when we first got to the library and I was a little worried I'd have to cut our visit short, but I had him in the ergo and once I moved and bounced him for awhile, he was out! I read a few books to Noelle and tried to make sure Jonah was being nice to the other kids!

At Walmart I walked past two women talking to each other and after I passed by, the one looked at me and said, "oh honey, are you getting any sleep?" I laughed and told her the one in the car seat was my sister's and that she wasn't getting any sleep. I'm just waiting for the comments when I'm out with all three and noticeably pregnant! They really just make me laugh. :)

Here's hoping our house has less sickness by the end of the week!

Thursday, January 5, 2017


We are officially less than 6 months away from having a 5 year old! I mean, I was just pregnant with Noelle, right??

This girl is growing up way too fast and keeps insisting that she's going to first grade next year- nope, just kindergarten! She almost always picks out what she's going to wear for the day (99% of the time it's a dress), but I at least try to make sure she's wearing shoes that mostly match her outfit. Thankfully she's at least branched out and is willing to wear long sleeve dresses this winter, unlike a year ago.

She is little miss bossy when it comes to her brother. If Jonah is asking for something, she'll often tell me "it's okay mom, I don't mind if he has that." If he is trying to go off and do his own thing, she'll grab his shirt or hood so that he can't wander away. And in their pretend play, she usually tells him what to do, and most of the time he's willing to go along with it.

Noelle is so excited about the baby, which she is really hoping is a girl. She'll wave to my stomach and say "hi baby!", and if I tell her a fact about how things are progressing, like the baby can now hear us talking, she'll continually tell me that the baby can hear us now. She loves seeing her nephew and bringing him things, so hopefully she'll be my little helper come June!

She loves books, and I started reading the Laura Ingalls Wilder books out loud to her, which takes me back to when my mom read them out loud to my me and my sister. Whenever we go to the library she picks out a bunch of books she wants, which lately includes My Little Pony, Lalaloopsy, Fancy Nancy. and Thomas the Train. She also of course loves t.v., which I try to limit to a bit in the afternoon and lately they've been watching My Little Pony, Octonauts, Barbie, and Hi-5.

Her favorite thing to ask me is "what are we doing tomorrow?" And then first thing in the morning, "what are we doing today?" All. day. long. she asks me this. And of course Jonah has picked up on it and asks me as well. It drives me bananas, those little stinkers!

She loves school, her teachers, her school friends (especially her buddy Ryan), and she's really excited that I signed her up for ballet again. She still has a reserved personality and takes awhile to warm up to new situations or people, but she can also have quite the attitude and be stubborn when she wants to be. She also has a "pose" that she does for when we take pictures where she leans one should forward and tilts her chin down. It's hilarious, but we usually at least get a smile out of it! 

her "pose"

I love this little girl so much, and it's been so fun watching her develop into the person she's becoming. I'm praying lots that God would take hold of her heart and give her a passion to know Him!